Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
