i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
