My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
