I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
