You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
