Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
