this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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