Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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