how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
