It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
