Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
A bitchslap is in order.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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