Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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