her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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