He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
