its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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