apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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