Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
