But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Non-Jews are for practice
well you can't waste a boner
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
