please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
