I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I understand Curling. That high.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
