Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
