i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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