no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
