im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
