He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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