I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
