I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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