I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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