RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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