ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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