I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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