One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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