On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
