You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
