...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
