His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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