Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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