What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
