Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
