The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
