what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
