I want to have your abortion
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
