hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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