No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
