my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
