Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
