yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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