Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
