Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
