She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
only you would photoshop your dick
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
