Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
