i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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