I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
