so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
