you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
