The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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