your thong is hanging out like whoa
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
